White Diamonds or Toilet Paper

It was wee, early in the morning. I could hardly see the dog sleeping next to me, or the baby on the other side. I drifted to consciousness as I heard my husband stumbling around the bedroom, fumbling down the hall, making noise in the bathroom. Then I drifted out. “Thuwaump,” the hall closet door opened. Sean was rifling, making racket now or it felt that way to my sleepy ears. With a voice filled with shock and horror I heard “My God,” he sucked in his breath, “we’re out of toilet paper.”

There in my mind, I saw my husband standing there dumbfounded without TP. Next him stood Elizabeth Taylor sucking in her own breath, “My God, I’m out of White Diamonds, and husbands (wink, wink).” Both there lost, unable to move without knowing how to solve this dire situation, each lost without their comfort and luxury.

One luxury is easily noted, White Diamonds, it’s expensive and difficult to get, unless you have credit. The other TP, seems hardly worthy of the title. Yet, according to my Oxford dictionary, it reads luxury is “ a state of great comfort and extravagant living”. Toilet paper easily qualifies as a great comfort and in some areas of the world a rare find or carry your own, and especially when you are hiking. Since, TP isn’t widely available abroad or even sixty years ago, it can be seen as a modern day luxury. To my husband at 5:30 am, TP was indeed a luxury he wouldn’t be without.

I believe its time to redefine our standard of living. Would you want to live without TP? Is it a necessity? No, my mother is well versed in the use of the Sears’ catalog or other old reading material, and I’ve used my inventive mind while hiking. So if we deem TP as a luxury item, widely available and present in most homes and facilities in the U.S., then I think we can all agree that TP is a sign of affluence, and that as a whole we lead pretty luxurious lives.